Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
