When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
