Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
