Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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