sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I wish you could order shots online.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
