Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
