32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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