Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
