my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
