she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize