Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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