I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
