The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
