booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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