I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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