He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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