I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
