Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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