I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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