"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you had me at cake vodka
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
