I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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