hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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