How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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