pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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