This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
