just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
