If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
