so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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