Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
