Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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