Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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