I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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