You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
