I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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