So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
