first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Randomize