Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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