Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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