Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
