Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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