yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
This toilet bowl is my home.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
