she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just gift wrapped bread.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
