I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize