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your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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