I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Too much gin, very little bucket
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
