we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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