i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
