Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
