Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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