So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
