he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
