please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
