considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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