what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
