Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
