I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
