I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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