Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
