I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
