Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
should my penis look like a turkey
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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