So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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