Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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