just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
